If you think Bitcoin bros and their endless blockchain discussions were the worst that cryptocurrency culture could give us, then you haven’t ever read the word “CryptoCelebrities.”
It should come as no surprise that these “contracts” have nothing really to do with the actual celebrity. They are a unique token that is managed by the site and whose ownership is listed on the Ethereum blockchain. (That’s the ongoing record of every ethereum transaction, I’m so sorry). So, basically, they are nothing but digital pictures. And people are paying exorbitant sums to get their names attached to them. It’s very reminiscent of CrytoKitties, with some small twists.
Essentially, you search for a celebrity that you desperately want to buy. Like, say, Jason Biggs. You buy the “contract” and then the next person who wants to buy Jason Biggs has to pay an increased price, and you keep most of the profits. (CryptoCelebrities takes a small cut.)
Looking at Jason Biggs’ profile here, the price for him is .80059 ether, the currency of ethereum. As of this writing, the current price of ethereum is $1,002.99 per ether. That means to get your name under this picture of Jason Biggs, like “denym” there, is worth $805.07. Sure.
The next price for Jason Biggs is listed as well. If you buy him for $805.07, the next person will have to pay you $974.50. For Jason Biggs.
Additionally, the actual celebrities can choose to verify their association with this “contract,” and every time a transaction is made, they earn three percent of it. According to the site, they can then donate that three percent to the charity of their choice, or grab it greedily.
And, that’s really it.
The most expensive “contract” on CryptoCelebrities currently is ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin. You can buy him for 20.16182 ether. That’s $20,142.33.
I think I’m going to be sick.
You will be devastated to hear that not all celebrities exists on CryptoCelebrities. Sufjan Stevens, Billy Crystal, and Barbara Walters are just a few names for which I searched, and the site yielded no results.
But you can get Kevin James for $1,064.
Currently, the lowest priced celebrity is comedian Maria Bamford at 0.31454 ether or $310.37. That makes me suspect that this entire thing has already been overrun by a swarm of #CryptoLyfe diehards, so good luck getting in on the ground floor of this trend.
The site is still in beta, and the creators say that they are “actually trying to keep things on the down low” before their Jan. 25 big release.
All hail the Blockchain.