Pass it forward

“C’mon chap! No course I had the time to create a cryptocurrency on top of all those travels from Mars and nonsense! ” -Elon Musk, perhaps
Image: BEN MACMAHON/ EPA/ REX/ Shutterstock

Elon Musk wants to make one thing clearly articulated: He did not invent Bitcoin, the cash bubble cryptocurrency that recently shot up to a $10,000 valuation.

The eccentric, sensitive billionaire denied declarations he is secretly Bitcoin’s inexplicable creator Satoshi Nakamoto, who has remained out of the public eye since publishing the paper that summarized the peer-to-peer currency in 2008.

The theory came in the form of a Medium upright by onetime SpaceX intern Sahil Gupta. Gupta pointed to several factors that pin the invention to Musk, like his background in economics and cryptography as well as his likelihood to borrow a sophomoric alias that serves as an anagram for the word “So a husband took a shit.”( You might recollect the time Musk publicly expressed disappointment when their lists of Tesla’s first three vehicles were obstruction from spelling out SEX .)

Musk likewise revoked having any Bitcoin to his identify, claiming he actually lost what little of the digital money he ever held years ago.

Later in the strand, nonetheless, Musk ceased an even bigger admission to his followers: He is actually a Martian. He didn’t explain exactly how he made his acces to Earth — whether he was cast Kal-El-style from a crumbling civilization or if it was just an accidental drop-off like E.T. is still unsure — but either way, the truth, as they say, is now out there.

So let’s recap everything they are able to thank Elon Musk for: PayPal’s online transactions, SpaceX’s rockets, Tesla’s all-electric cars, the hyperloop scoot, the Boring Company and its horrendous puns( and hats ), Solar City’s green infrastructure, Neuralink’s weird AI-human mashup projects, doomsday AI prognosis, and a sometimes-deranged Twitter feed.

What you can’t: Bitcoin.

More importantly, we now know that his plans for SpaceX aren’t to colonize Mars — it’s to get back to his native land. Elon Musk isn’t the architect of Bitcoin, people. He’s really E.T ., trying to phone residence.

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